Lines for Bad Humans Humans don't listen very well but here are a few lines we would make them write to get them to learn.
*Remember were it says "master" it means us cats*
Comfort of the Master(s)
Destroying
Disrespect in General
Food/Water
High-Tech
Human-Related
Loss of Dignity
Mess Making
Miscellaneous
Noise
Other Critters
Sanitation
Toys/Playing
1.I will allow my master the run of the house and to sleep on the bed.
2.I will allow my master to lounge on my closet shelf on top of the cashmere sweater my mother gave me.
3.I will be sure that my masters are comfortable in bed, only then will I arrange myself around the available space.
4.I will chase away any noisy workmen from my side of the building so they don't scare my master under the bed. If unsuccessful, I will return frequently to the bedroom, lie on the floor beside the bed and reassure my master until the noise has stopped.
5.I will ensure any house we own has plenty of sunny windows for my master.
6.I will fold laundry on the sofa, so my masters have a warm place to nap.
7.I will get up in the morning, turn on the heat and then place my master on the top shelf of his kitty tree so that he may nap under the warm air blowing on him from the heat vent.
8.I will gladly roll onto my other side when my master paws me on the cheek at 3:30 a.m. so she can "snuggle."
9.I will keep the window open at all times, summer or winter, for my master to sit in.
10.I will let my master sleep on my notes as I'm trying to study.
11.I will make sure the toilet bowl is always sparkly clean and freshly flushed, so my masters always have freshest drinking water.
12.I will never close a door completely while the masters are in the house.
13.I will never shut a closet door without checking to be sure my master is not lurking within,
14.I will not chase my (white-furred) master off of the black sweater drying in the laundry room.
15.I will not compete with my master for pillow space
16.I will not expect my master to want to sleep in the basement every night. Just because I'm sick of him taking up all the room in my bed!
17.I will not go on vacation and leave my master in a kennel.
18.I will not let the sheets of my bed touch my master's head when it is time to go to bed.
19.I will not offend my master's ears with loud music.
20.I will not shove my master out of the middle of the bed.
21.I will provide The Lap as often as my masters wish.
22.I will remember that my master and her friend use the car from 6 p.m. to 10 p.m. I will attempt to ensure that the car is in the car port during this period for their sitting pleasure.
23.I will show my master the gratitude I feel to her/him for revealing to me that my purpose in life is to be a cat bed.
24.I will stand with the door open for unlimited amounts of time, so that my master can become acclimated to the temperature outside before actually leaving the shelter of the house.
25.When my master is sleeping on some portion of my anatomy, I will not disturb my master by getting up to attend to such mundane matters as answering the telephone or going to the bathroom.
1.I will admire the art of shredding the stereo speakers.
2.I will nod and say "that looks like that was fun to do" when we pull down the curtains and leave them in piles on the floor.
3.I will not act so freaky and weird just because my master shreds my script (and notes) at an ungodly hour and the play opens the next day.
4.No part of the house or piece of furniture is off limits to my master. Any destructible possessions are to be kept out of sight and out of mind; they do not belong in a cat-run home anyway. My master may not be held accountable, let alone (gasp!) scolded, for any oversight on my part in this regard.
5.If my master wishes to leap from the treadmill to the top of the bookcase and knocks my china dolls off, I will *never* scream at him.
6.I will not reprimand my master for clawing the furniture.
7.I will not scold my master after he walks through the birthday cake.
1.I should never deprive my master of his litter box for five hours or more by packing it in advance when moving, then putting my master in a cat carrier and taking him in the car to his new home hours away--and expect him not to pee in the cat carrier, thoroughly soaking the gushy, pee-absorbing car seats.
2.I will always protect my master's right to dark, quiet time under the bed, especially when loud children are visiting.
3.I will always stay with my masters at the vet's office instead of dropping them off for shots, since they freak out and actually wet themselves if left behind without their slave.
4.I will always stop reading/watching and start petting when my master lies down between my book and my face, or on the newspaper article I was reading, or lies on my chest between the TV and my face.
5.I will be mindful of slang meanings of phrases, and will not lovingly call my master "pussy lips" in front of company.
6.I will get a teddy bear if I must have something to squeeze!
7.I will be ready to play whenever my master is.
8.I will never ever take my masters in the Engine of Destruction to the Bad Man in the clinic for Shots.
9.I will not blame my masters for my farts.
10.I will not fart when my master is under the bed covers.
11.I will not force my master to come in from the back yard when he is winning a stare-down or growl-off with the neighbor's cat.
12.I will not fuss when my master is patrolling the table, kitchen counter, or dresser for prey.
13.I will not go away for more than 24 hours without having someone stop by to adore and feed my master.
14.I will not go on 2-week vacation leaving my masters to the care of those Less Trained in our requirements.
15.I will not ignore my master. (Of course it's okay for cats to ignore humans).
16.I will not ignore my master's signs to tell me when to start/stop petting, cuddling, playing, etc., no matter how subtle they are.
17.I will not leap on the seesaw just as the cat crosses it.
18.I will not leave my master for a completely unnecessary vacation and board my master at the vet's.
19.I will not let my master in/out "when I feel like it".
20.I will not lock my master out of the cupboards with an elastic band around the knobs. I also will not coat said band with Tabasco sauce to keep my master from chewing it so she can break in.
21.I will not pet my master while she's taking her bath.
22.I will not place my *insignificant* belongings on the royal resting places (aka coffee tables, nightstands, and dressers), nor scold my master when s/he pushes them off.
23.I will not push my master from the kitchen counters or table.
24.I will not pull my master out of the trash bin when she is busy inspecting its contents.
25.I will not put my master in a cat carrier--ever, for any reason whatsoever.
26.I will not report my masters' outgrown juvenile behaviour, slight errors of judgement, minor lapses in taste, unfortunate mishaps and embarrassing accidents to the Bad Kitty List. If I succumb to the overwhelming temptation, I must make sure that I send all their suggestions about my own violations of Feline Rights to the Bad Human List to try to make amends for the loss of dignity, etc.
27.I will not rub my master's fur the wrong way.
28.I will not start the charcoal barbecue when my master is taking a nap on the patio, especially when my master is downwind.
29.I will not try to force my masters to be nice to strangers that visit, nor will my masters be scolded for hissing and spitting at said strangers, even if stranger's names are Mom and Dad.
30.I will not try to trim the fur between the pads of my master's feet, especially when he complains about it.
31.I will not whistle just because it annoys my master.
32.I will open the bedroom door the moment my master mews -- regardless if I'm hard of hearing.
33.I will stop cooking as soon as my master demands to be brushed, even if I did brush him ten minutes ago
34.If my master wishes to go outside while I'm on the computer, I will NOT wait until she decides to claw at my leg for attention, nor will I patronize her by saying "I'll let you out in a minute."
35.We will not callously abandon our masters to go on vacation, particularly when one of them is pregnant and we are not back until shortly before the kittens are due to be born.
36.What is the master's is the master's. What is the human's is also the master's. I will not forget this rule.
37.When I open the apartment door to take out the trash or do the laundry, I will allow my master out to patrol the hall and will accompany him on his rounds to sniff at each neighbor's door for as long as he wants.
38.When I return home, I will not wait to take off my coat or neatly deposit parcels before getting down on the floor to pet my master, who is *always* there to greet me at the door.
39.When my master gets onto my shoulders from the top of the refrigerator, I will take her to the otherwise inaccessible Forbidden Toy she is lusting after and not somewhere else.
1.All human meals are to shared with my master at *his* discretion. All guests will be expected to comply. The smart ones know the correct protocol by which his excellency need only swivel his head to accept morsels offered by two or more adoring slaves. Any fools who object or find this unappetizing are not to be invited back.
2.All used dishes, and the aluminum foil in which meat has been cooked, are to be offered to my master to lick.
3.As our cat's supposedly obedient slaves, it is our duty to keep the royal highness's (the cat's) food bowl more than half full.
4.Attempting to hide catnip from my master is useless, so I shouldn't bother.
5.I recognize that my master is my personal taste tester.
6.I will allow my master to express his desire to share his slaves' food at the table (not to mention actually giving him some!).
7.I will always give my master the cantaloupe rinds to chew on.
8.I will feed my master on demand. I will feed my master on demand. I will feed my master on demand.
9.I will feed my master all he can gorge.
10.I will feed my master before I feed myself.
11.I will immediately turn on any faucet my master wishes to drink from, even though he has water bowls placed in every area of the house. Elderly cats do need to keep their kidneys flushed, after all.
12.I will never scold my master for cleaning up road-kill. The master is doing his civic duty to keep the streets clean.
13.I will not allow the dry food bowl to become more than half empty.
14.I will not assume my master doesn't like whatever is in the can I am opening.
15.I will not buy diet cat food.
16.I will not chase the master from inside the refrigerator, until the master has decided there is nothing he/she wants to eat.
17.I will not expect my master to forgo attempts to steal my sushi--this is simply asking too much of a cat.
18.I will not get upset when the master leaps into the middle of the dinner table while entertaining guests and family. Instead of scolding and removing the master, I will praise him and tell everyone how cute he is.
19.I will not got to the restaurant and feed myself first before feeding my master, especially since my master can follow me and sit in the window and yowl while I eat, forcing me to ask the waitress "Who is that cat? Who does he belong to?"
20.I will not make my master wait 12 long hours between meals.
21.I will not move the food box when my master figures out how to get to it and knock it down
from the shelf.
22.I will not pretend to be dead when my master is trying to waken me for breakfast. She isn't
fooled and will never quit pestering!
23.I will not spike my master's food with medicine.
24.I will not sneak up behind and scare my master while he is drinking from the Big White
Drinking Bowl.
25.I will not stand in front of the dishwasher unless I am ready to pass out the master's treats kept
on the counter.
26.I will not tease my master with imitation treats.
27.I will not tell men to stop sending flowers because the master loves to eat them and pull them
from the arrangement. It's not the master's fault the vase tips over.
28.I will not wake up and while still half-asleep, give my master one of my thyroid pills instead of
his feline urinary syndrome pills, then force my master to drink salt water (according to the
vet's instructions) until he vomits it up. (I was forgiven for this terrible sin, however as I was
sitting in the chair feeling bad after doing this, my master crawled in my lap and began to purr
loudly.)
29.I will provide only the choicest morsels for the master's bowl, not poultry scraps.
30.I will not push my master away from my food.
31.I will never again allow my parents to drop me off at school then drop my master off at the vet
-- even if everyone did come out to adore me.
32.I will refill the water bowl no matter how many times my master tips it over.
33.I will remember not to offer my master smoked salmon. This is *not* a delicacy just because
my previous master liked it.
34.I will search to the end of the leash to see if my master is still outside before I leave for work
and separate her from her precious food bowl all day.
35.I will share any can of tuna fish that is opened.
36.I will share the spicy bean dip with my master.
37.If I've decided to be sociable and sit in my human's lap and be petted, I should accept the fact
that he might cough or burp or something, and not panic and shred his pants trying to escape
the noise.
38.If I accidentally pour too much kibble into the measuring cup, I will give it all to my masters,
rather than trying to put the excess back.
39.If my master is to be left alone with a visitor who is asked to feed him, said guest will be
instructed that if s/he opens a fresh can of cat food, my master expects to be given the empty
can to lick.
40.If my masters have turned their dainty noses up at the food in their dishes all day, they are
hardly going to eat it when thinly disguised with Delicat or other items. However, I accept that
they reserve the right to enjoy it outside if they think it too good for the hedgehogs, seagulls,
magpies, neighbours' cats and anyone else who visits.
41.It is unforgivable to leave temptation in my master's path and expect him to resist. Pungent
inedibles, such as steak fat or chicken bones, will be placed immediately inside the refrigerator,
not left in an accessible container on the kitchen counter where he can smell them.
42.There must always be food in my master's dish.
43.While the masters greatly appreciated the gift of catnip leaves, they are anxious to point out
that one tiny leaf each is not enough to get stoned on. In the future I will make sure I bring
home at least one good sized plant each.
1.I realize that my master has the right to send e-mail messages to my master's friends too.
2.I will admire my master's tail if I am supplying a screen to back light it with.
3.I will always watch "Animal Planet" whenever there's a bird show on.
4.I will not answer the phone when I come home if I haven't fed my master yet.
5.I will not assume my master is done reading the newspaper just because s/he is no longer
looking at it or just because I am done with that page.
6.I will not close the dishwasher door before my master has exited.
7.I will not complain when my master steps on the break key, or settles down on the computer
keyboard.
8.I will not scold my master for opening the freezer door and eating the hot dogs.
9.I will not talk on the phone unless my master gets a chance to say "hi".
10.I will not talk on the phone when my master wants me stare at her and talk nicely to her.
11.I will not try to ignore my master when she comes over to join my phone conversation,
because since no one else is in the room, I must be talking to her. (Who would *really* be
talking to a piece of plastic anyway?)
12.If I put a fun moving screen saver on the computer, I will not shoo my master from the desk as
he chases it.
13.My master has every right to lie on the keyboard no matter how important my English paper is
to my G.P.A.
14.The master will never be called "stupid" for changing channels on the TV with the remote
control, especially when it's during a crucial part of the program. It was a dumb movie,
anyway.
1.Family members must stay home as often as possible. At no time should the house be left
empty in the evening.
2.I will not close the bathroom door thus separating myself, however momentarily, from my
master.
3.I will not expose my master to my morning breath when she wakes me.
4.I will not invite any (scary) electricians or plumbers into the house.
5.I will not pull my master out from under the bed to show to guests, who are obviously
dangerous and must be hidden from.
6.I will not roll over on top of my master while sleeping, even though she is curled up against my
back while I am on my side.
7.I will not scold my master when he leaps for the ceiling fan and bounces on me at 2 a.m.
8.I will not scream in pain when my master tries to rip my hoop earrings out of my
multiply-pierced ears; I realize that they are pretty shiny things and I have many; my master
only wants a few for himself.
9.I will not stand under the tree, crying up it "Momma loves you, come to Momma!" The
neighbors think I'm strange and it embarrasses his lordship Sir Merlin. I will also not attempt
solo rescues when I know darn well that I am terrified of heights and then there's a cat AND a
human stuck halfway up the tree. (The neighbors really loved that one)
10.I will not stop my master from nuzzling all the gentlemen visotors in their armpits.
11.I will respond faster to The Stare Of Hunger or of Opening the Door more quickly.
12.My head does indeed make an acceptable perch for my master to look out the window.
13.My human's teacher is evil. My master had every right to attack her. (No joke--my art teacher
lives across the street and was planting catnip. Luckily she found it funny).
14.My master does not think it is funny when sticky-chinned children give him kisses.
15.My master is a creature of dignity. I will not feed him catnip in front of guests and/or videotape
him afterwards.
1.I will ensure that my master does not have an audience when giving birth to her first kittens.
Her slaves and her own mother are acceptable, but not the neighbours (or neighbours' cat). I
will not be fast asleep when the Great Event begins so that I have to be roused to watch in
wonder and eject any unwelcome intruders.
2.I will let my master in the house to do his business, as I fully understand that there may be
onlookers outside.
3.I will make sure my master is not wrapped up in the covers BEFORE I snap the covers off the
bed and send my master flying across the bedroom. If I do hurl my master across the room, I
will not, under ANY circumstances, laugh.
4.I will not apply the following undignified nicknames to my master: Bulge Boy, Mr. Chubb, Mr.
Big, Blimpy, Hellraiser, Pest-Kitty, Food Vacuum, Oink, Menace to Society.
5.I will not brush my master when he jumps up on my lap just to be petted.
6.I will not chase my master around the house while screaming "HERE KITTY KITTY" and
expect her to come.
7.I will not chase my master with the awful noisy vacuum cleaner.
8.I will not climb/jump on the waterbed when my master is on it, then laugh when she gives me
the How-Dare-You look.
9.I will not clip my master's claws, which he has spent much time sharpening to razor-edged
perfection.
10.I will not comment on the size of my master's behind. It is insignificant compared with my own.
11.I will not dye my master colors in lieu of buying colored baby chickens for my children at
Easter.
12.I will not flush the drinking bowl when my master is having a drink! (Stormy practically hit the
ceiling and looked SO offended as I laughed my head off.)
13.I will not give my master a mohawk, no matter how cool I think it looks.
14.I will not give my master the bum's rush when she is trying to supervise me as I work at the
kitchen counter.
15.I will not highlight my master's nose and ears in fashionable neon colors.
16.I will not inundate my master with stinky toothpaste/mouthwash breath after cleaning my teeth.
17.I will not laugh at my master if he gets confused when a meow sound comes from the
computer.
18.I will not laugh at the master when she miscalculates and falls off the coffee table/couch/etc.
19.I will not laugh (hysterically or otherwise) when my masters do any of the following: get stuck
upside down in the corner behind the beanbag chair (hey, I fished him out); jump two feet
vertically at the slightest noise; flip a cardboard box over on himself then walk it around the
floor.
20.I will not laugh when my master chases her tail.
21.I will not laugh when my master falls off the counter or washing machine. I acknowledge that
my master was simply testing gravity and landing skills and meant to do that.
22.I will not leave shopping bags with handles for the masters to inspect. I know they are curious
and will climb into them. (The sneaky handles creep up their legs, then when they wish to leave
the bag, it chases them around the house, beating them about the body and head with
horrifying rattles and crackles, scaring all the other cats into frenzies and the poor trapped cat
often wets him/her self in terror.)
23.I will not make fun of my master's weight.
24.I will not make my master come on vacation with us and then force her into a harness and lead
and take her out wearing them.
25.I will not move my master no matter where she decides to sleep.
26.I will not play "spin the kitty" on the hardwood floors just to watch my master try to walk
afterwards.
27.I will not put three drops of milk in the bottom of the glass and laugh at the master when he
gets his head stuck.
28.I will not ridicule my master after he runs into the sliding glass door, as I know he meant to do
this.
29.I will not stick my finger in master's mouth when she yawns.
30.I will not surprise my master by kissing her while she is sleeping.
31.I will not time my master while she is taking a whiz.
32.I will not turn on the water when my master is napping in the sink.
33.I will not weigh my master.
34.If I really, really must dislodge my sleeping master from my lap (permissible only under the
most extreme conditions, e.g., because I am about to wet my pants or have lost all feeling in
my legs), I will never DUMP him off, instead I will wake him gently, and offer him treats as an
inducement to move on his own volition.
35.If my master accidentally steps on the treadmill while I am using it, I will *not* laugh at him
when he shoots across the room.
36.My human will not embarrass me by taking/showing pictures of me with my teddy bear. (My
HUGE cat adopted his own child sized teddy bear and would carry it all through the house
including up and down the stairs. I never did figure out how he carried it up the stairs, but he
did.)
37.My master must test all beauty products--however this does not mean he wants a bath.
38.No matter how cute I think it is, I will not put fabric antlers on my masters, take a picture of
them and send it out as a Christmas card.
39.We will not cause alarm by modelling our masks for a performance of the Rossini Cat Duet in
front of our masters.
1.I will not complain because the master does not like towels or clothing hanging anywhere. The
master has taught me that everything belongs on the floor.
2.I will not complain or scold the master because the new roll of toilet paper is half unraveled on
the floor and what's left on the roll looks like Swiss cheese.
3.I will not complain when the master decides to vomit in the center of the carpet five minutes
before guests arrive.
4.I will not scold or banish the master to another room because the master played with the ice
cubes in the guest's drinks and spilled the entire contents on the carpet.
5.I will not scold the master for opening all the Christmas gifts under the tree before Christmas.
Neither will I scold the master for liking my human's mother's gift the best and depositing hair
over its entire surface. It's not the master's fault she's allergic to the master.
1.I cannot be expected to flea powder the "usual sleeping places" (as per instructions on the can)
as that would mean dusting the entire house.
2.I will always call my masters to the family room when there is a program about cats on, so
they can decide to watch it or not.
3.I will be thankful every day of my life that my masters deign to live with me, and that I please
them enough to elicit The Purr.
4.I will find a way to turn off the thunder so my master will not be frightened.
5.I will get up every morning at 6 a.m. (or earlier) and go to bed as early as possible.
6.I will learn that ALL trees are for climbing by the master, including the Christmas tree.
7.I will leave the potting soil where it belongs -- on the floor.
8.I will leave the toilet seat up so my master can investigate.
9.I will not go to work and leave the masters alone all day.
10.I will not introduce my master to my human's horse, as my master might think him a threat and
start a brawl (which he won).
11.I will not rush at my master when she is concentrating on balancing on the inch-wide balcony
rail 25 feet in the air to see how the dog and I react.
12.I will sharpen my psychic skills so that I can read my master's mind, no matter how feeble it
may be.
13.I will take thousands of pictures of my masters, and show them to everyone I ever meet.
14.I will watch where I put my big feet.
15.It's not the master's fault the screen prevents the master from catching the bird flying by.
16.My master must always be allowed to kill the sheets while I am making the bed.
17.The master shall be allowed to always bring friends in to play. This includes mice, birds,
rabbits, squirrels, lizards and snakes. And when the master's friend the 3-foot long black
snake decides to nap in the waterbed, I will not call the master bad names and not allow him
outside to play for a week.
18.There are no bad kitties, only bad humans. There are no bad kitties, only bad humans. There
are no bad kitties...
1.I will not get angry with the master when his friends visit at 3:00 a.m. for choir practice.
2.If you hang up wind chimes, then the master will be sure they will always ring, even without
wind present.
1.I will always throw water on the neighbor's cat if said cat is winning a stare-down or growl-off
with my master.
2.I will assist my master in chasing unwanted cats from the garden and house. But I will respect
her right to invite her friends in.
3.I will graciously accept the wildlife offerings from my master.
4.I will let my master play with mice she has cleverly bought into the house to torture to death.
5.I will let the kitties play with the hamster.
6.I will never pet other masters with the affection that I show when I pet my own.
7.I will not come home smelling of other cats or (even worse!) dogs.
8.I will not de-flea my sister's new master in my master's bathroom and expect my master to
forgive me right away.
9.I will not fraternize with other cats.
10.I will not interfere with my master's perfectly normal attempts to assert his dominance by biting
his brother.
11.I will praise my masters when they bring in live hummingbirds or mice to toy with, instead of
locking us in the bathroom while I catch and release the Prey.
12.My master will be allowed to hide live mice inside the company's diaper bag.
1.I will change my masters' litter box at the first sign of stink, not when they have to get the point
across by whizzing on the comforter.
2.I will keep the master's litter box as clean (or cleaner than) the human's bathroom.
3.I will not move my hand while my master is busy washing it.
4.I will not say "Ewwww gross" when my master sneezes and then licks the snot off her fur.
5.I will not stare at my master while she is doing her business, however, the master is permitted
to stare at the human in various states of undress and/or physical activity.
6.I will not subject the master to a bath after he plays in garbage cans.
7.I will scoop the litter box at least every other day, since clean litter is the best to poop in.
8.It is not the master's fault he couldn't make it to the litter box and peed on the IRS tax return.
1.Although I have given my master many beautiful toys, I will understand that it is often more fun
for him if I play, too, and I will not allow my own trivial activities to interfere. I will devote my
full attention to his wishes, and not try to also do other things at the same time. Nor will I take
offense when my master ignores the beautiful toys I have bought for him in favor of the plastic
and cardboard wrapping they came in, pieces of string, or crumpled-up tea bag wrappers.
2.I will get an ice cube and throw it on the floor whenever my master requests one.
3.I will leave the lingerie drawer open so that my master may strew my undies around the
apartment for his amusement.
4.I will let my master chase my highlighter as I'm trying to highlight texts.
5.I will let my master play with the fat rubber bands; once he has chewed through them, I will
throw them away and replace them with new ones.
6.I will not buy lots of expensive, useless toys when the ring off a gallon of milk is perfectly fine
entertainment.
7.I will not leave blown up balloons for the masters to play with, since they tend to explode and
scare us.
8.I will not lure my master from his chair with a toy so I can sit in it.
9.I will periodically purchase more rabbit-fur covered "mice", even though my masters will
probably kick them under the washer in about 9.4 seconds.
10.I will not pretend to throw my master's toy and then hide it behind my back while my master
runs off looking for it.
11.I will not seize my master's (current) favourite toy just because she is playing with it under the
bed at 4 a.m.
12.I will not take away the brand new cupcake papers from my master, especially since he went
to all the trouble to get on the kitchen table so he could have a new toy. (Even if he does have
15 toys of assorted colors shapes and sizes.)
13.I will not throw out the nightly bit of dental floss without first allowing my master to play with it
for at least 5 minutes.
14.I will retrieve all the foil balls and toys from under the sofa and refrigerator each and every
day.
15.I will supply my master with toys and will not begrudge him if he decides to find some new
ones on his own.
16.I will turn off the computer and play with my master when he attacks my behind through the
chair.
17.My master will always have first chance at banana stems. Furthermore, I will not pick the up
off the floor and throw them away until she is sufficiently tired of playing with them.
18.When my master attacks and kills the fur trim from the hood of my down coat, I will not
complain; he is a natural born hunter.
19.When my master drags one of his favorite toys into the bedroom at 2 a.m. and cries for me to
play with him, I will leap out of bed without delay and comply. When he sits high atop the
microwave with his front legs dangling from the edge and repeatedly says "Er?", I will stop
whatever I am doing at once and do what he wants: toss crumpled-up tea bag wrappers up to
him to swat with his paw.
